


This Is Fine

by SensationalSista



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, F/F, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Jen is oblivious, Judy's adorable, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-04-08 04:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19099870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SensationalSista/pseuds/SensationalSista
Summary: “Okay, I guess.. what are friends for?”Her words may have held some semblance of confidence, but in her mind, she was desperately praying to a deity; any one of them that would give her an ear and maybe answer her wish. 'I really really hope that I’m not about to regret this decision.'*Obligatory Fake Dating fic*





	1. Chapter 1

.

The sun rays of the early Saturday morning streamed over the sandy beach; ocean waves tinted with gold and shimmering brighter with each passing minute while the sun rose higher and higher. The summer heat was mild; the usual inland heat only tempered by a misty sea breeze brought in by the coastal waters. Gulls squealed overhead as the mainland city noise echoed in the distance. Crashing waves and lively boardwalk music mingled in the air.

The black Honda had been parked, stowed away in one of the open lots not far from the entrance onto the boardwalk. Two boys led the way, idly chatting and pointing at the surroundings while making jokes between themselves as they went. Following in their energetic footsteps was their ever watchful mother; blonde hair swept back into a long ponytail, hair pins in place, maintaining an ever picture perfect style of sophisticated grace, even with a light wind sweeping around them tussling delicate fly-aways.

Jennifer Harding took a deep inhale, feeling relaxed as the salty air mingled amongst her senses, almost tasting the raw natural wonder on her tongue. She absolutely adored the beach. Every one she had ever visited. Always had, ever since she was a young child splashing in the waves of Fire Island and playing in the sand as queen of her castle. Hell, how can you live in greater Orange County California and not be attracted to the ocean's shoreline? More than that, Jen lived for beach days, at least when she could afford time for them. And with her family? Those moments were priceless. Priceless, but so disappointingly rare.

Honestly, she could not even remember the last time she’d been on a family outing like this. It was definitely well over two years. Maybe even three by now? Oh gosh, wasn’t Charlie still in elementary school? Time was always against her when it came to family and her mental self-care. Work could be an ugly enemy sometimes. Ted had always been the one who would take the boys to any outings each and every year. The aspiring musician would have all the damn time in the world for their children, which Jen had envied with a nasty green-eye for way too long. It didn’t matter how much money she made when its cost was making memories with her kids.

But today was more than just a chance to reconnect with her children or experience a relaxing morning on the beach. Today would mark their first big outing since the life-changing events of last year. So much growth had occurred and events fallen into place, finally allowing them, the Harding family, this time to simply _be_. And, even after nights of painstaking deliberation on using the label, Jen had to admit that considering this to be a ‘family’ affair was probably the most fittingly perfect description.

Blue eyes glanced away from the boys, over to her side. As it had come to be expected, she was immediately met with the sight of her most unexpected yet dearest friend; the smaller woman walking in perfect synchrony beside her step. It made Jen’s spirit ease just knowing the now familiar presence was around.

It had been Judy who had ultimately suggested it. This outing and all. A few nights ago, as the little hybrid family unit shared supper, Jen had passingly made mention of her upcoming house showings in Newport Beach. Henry lit up instantly at hearing the city’s name, attention spinning toward Charlie.

“Isn’t that where that awesome Fun Zone is?” he asked, mouth still somewhat filled with food. His older brother nodded, interest also rising although he masked it a bit better than the little boy.

“Yeah, that place is awesome.”

The two went on to exchange perceptions of some games they remembered, tossing their memories back and forth excitedly and Jen couldn’t help but watch in amazement. She knew her sons got along, but seeing them both so euphoric over their experiences together made her heart clench, knowing she’d missed out on so many moments of their happiness over the years. She hadn’t even realized how distantly engrossed she’d become in watching..

Henry had eventually slumped back into his chair, choosing to push his brusselsprouts around his plate, voice dejected and grumbled. “Man, I wish we could go again.”

Before Jen had even managed a word in edgewise, the other adult of the group chirped excitedly from her spot at the table’s head. “Hey! What if we all go and make a day of it?” she proposed with a large smile, eyes alight, fork raised and pointing with her idea. She looked between the children and then to her best friend. Brown eyes held onto Jen’s with something so sincere that Jen couldn’t help but wonder if Judy had seen right into her distant thoughts from earlier. “We can all shop in the morning, get lunch, and we’ll wait on the beach while you go and do your showings!”

It had been a whirlwind of a conversation, sweeping Jen up while her guard had been so lowered. She was bombarded with her sons’ immediate input and their intense agreement with Judy’s suggestion. Honestly, the blonde wasn’t even sure what exact words that her mouth decided on, but something positive must have come out to result in the three individuals cheering with excited glee. Watching on, Jen could only smile and roll her eyes at the silliness, enjoying the warmth that such joy brought to her heart.

So, now she found herself here; smell of Coppertone sunblock filling her with childhood memories while she tilted her head up toward the hot sun, squinting even beneath the dark lenses of her slim framed _Caritier_ s. Her smile was open, drawing her gaze to the kids up ahead again and then back to the languidly walking brunette tucked comfortably at her side.

The group had unanimously agreed that, yeah, it was totally acceptable to start the day off with some ice cream and Salt Water Taffy treats, followed by walking the boardwalk. During the activities, Jen had firmly decided that she really could not have asked for a better day, nor better company to spend it with.

“Mom, mom!” came the smallest boy’s voice, somehow manifesting at her side as he yanked on his mother’s sleeve; hints of sticky blue taffy were definitely still present on his fingers and Jen silently hoped it wouldn’t blemish her chosen work attire. “Can we please go to the arcade, now?” He was so excited and even had a bounce to his step as his large baby blues pleaded into his mother’s own matching set.

His older brother nodded, hands clutching at his backpack. “Yeah, you two can go shopping or whatever.” Henry made a dramatic snoring sound following his brother's suggestion. Jen could only assume he’d been learning that new dramatic flair from either his teenage brother or the Holy Harmonizers. “How about we go to the arcade and then meet up with you guys for lunch,” he said coolly, trying to take control of the situation, although he was poorly containing his own eagerness to escape hanging out with his mom; his Converse were scuffing at the sandy wooden planks with a bit of anxiousness to extract from the group.

Jen made a face at her supposedly older and therefore wiser child, weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to let the 14 year old have this degree of independence and responsibility of watching over her precious little baby. She hummed uncertainly, small frown coming out for the first time this morning. “I don’t know, Charlie..”

“They’ll be fine.” She heard the reassuring voice suddenly pipe up from beside her. Jen looked toward the other woman whose bright smile lit up the vicinity, while her deep brown eyes held their own degree of pleading. “Let them have some fun.”

The boys quickly dog piled on Judy’s addition, yet again. “Yeah Mom!” and a begging “Please?”

Given that she was being hounded by three wide-eyed bodies, the blonde finally relented. It was a regular Déjà vu to the other night. Since when did the strong, independent woman become so utterly powerless against this newly formed attack team? They weaponized puppy dog eyes and sweet voices and it continued to strike Jen at her heart like an expert marksman. This friendly family fire was slowly going to be the death of her, she knew it.

“ _Fine_ ,” she uttered in a grunt, albeit begrudgingly so. “But you keep your phone on you at _all_ times, you hear me?” The teenager pulled it out of his shorts’ pocket and waved it at her. “And do not let Henry out of your sight.” The boy reached out for his little brother, tugging him close into his side before both gave simultaneous thumbs up.

Finally, she relented. Jen let out a breath, responsibility of motherhood weighing on her shoulders, but also adoring seeing those excited expressions fill her sons’ faces.

The boys waved and turned in the direction of the nearest Fun Zone game area. Judy called after them, waving and wishing them a good time. As they continued onward, the brunette woman suddenly turned to face Jen, a new look of stunned regret coming over her face, hand rushing to her mouth.

“Oh no!” Judy gasped in sobering awareness, hand rapping against her skull lightly. “Ugh, I did it again! Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” She spoke hurriedly, concern for taking on too much of a parental role coloring her words. Letting the kids go and do things was always 100% Jen’s decision in the end; she hadn’t meant to step on any toes, although both women knew such occurrence was happening more and more frequently while the months gradually accumulated.

But the older of the two merely ended up shaking her head, knowing exactly what thoughts were barraging the artist’s mind. Actually, Jen knew this reaction pretty well at this point. “No, no, you were right.” She sighed. “I’m being too much of a mother hen. I need to let them be more independent.” Her blue eyes gently morphed and held a smile in their shine as she watched her close friend’s shoulders ease. “I _do_ take your opinions seriously, Judy, if you haven’t noticed.” She splayed both of her arms out, appreciating the scenery around them on this beautiful day. Her eyes softened on her friend as she cautiously shared a placid thought; one she had already considered many times before but never dared speak. “I appreciate you for caring so much for my boys. I’ve needed your support through everything.. especially for their sake.” As the words floated around them and two dark, saucer sized eyes bored into her own, she then shrugged in an indifferent manner, suddenly massively aware of how, _ugh, needy_ that sounded. “Yeah, so. Thanks.. and stuff.”

Eyes unchanging in their awe, the other woman came close to gasping once more, somehow stepping closer into Jen’s personal protective bubble. For a moment she actually thought Judy was about to reach out to grab her hand just milliseconds before the woman brought it up and clutched at her heart. “Of course!” she said immediately. “They’re so wonderful. I love them dearly,” she expressed in earnest; pure adoration filled every ounce of meaning in the response.

It was the same sentiment and emotion which had steadily re-earned Jen’s trust over the last few months following their short-lived fallout. Emotions had been bared, raw pain exchanged between both parties, despite neither wanting to succumb to it. Steve had been a ‘cheating asshole eye-for-an-eye’, at least within Jen’s twisted view. Even if that was not exactly true, it was enough of a thought changer to be the catalyst which eventually triggered their mental and emotional recovery. Ever since the police had managed the case with Steve, Jen’s actions documented on camera for self-defense, and hers and Judy’s explanation that it had actually been _Steve_ in the hit and run all along, their physical lives had gradually settled down as well.

The two women were now happily living the suburban dream, co-parenting the boys in such a wonderful way. Jen had said that they’d be a mothering-team, and, although the third bundle of joy was sadly a lost dream, Judy had stepped up and become more than anything that Jen could have imagined. Every single time her boys mentioned Judy nowadays, they had nothing but delight in their voices. And Judy would involve herself so willingly in their needs and activities that Jen could feel her heart swell a bit more every time. It actually surprised her to find warmth even when she'd heard the boys playfully use the endearment "Judy's the cool mom", something she never would have expected to find more entertaining rather than offensive. More so, the most important thing of all, Judy never dared overstep. Purposefully at least. She made sure Jen’s authority came first and that she knew all of her children’s happenings; something Ted never took the extra effort to inform her of.

It was only in these rare, quiet moments that Jen could really reflect on _that_ part of their unique relationship.

Judy was her closest friend; probably the closest that she’d ever had, and probably _will ever_ have. A true treasure that she was thankful for; a rock to ground her from her still tumultuous tendencies and a lifeline to her shortcomings. Even while saying all of that, praising this once upon a time stranger so highly, it still didn’t seem to do their relationship enough justice. They were friends, but closer than that. They were so close to being a family.. yet, she’d never say Judy was like a sister. That label didn’t fit. Not at all. To her, Judy was.. was..

Sometimes Jen caught herself wandering the house on a sleepless night, passing the downstairs windows and observing the dark windows of the Guest House, wondering this exact same thought. What she shared with the dorky yet lovable woman was basically indescribable. In that unknown, there was something she also felt was absent; nothing big.. yet, maybe so all the same.

Whatever they were, she was comfortable leaving it as this perfect bubble of happiness. For now at least. She wondered if she’d ever figure out the right name; figure out the last piece that seemed to be missing from this puzzle between them.. the puzzle which _was_ them.

In front of her, she watched as Judy’s face lit up with a smile enviable of the sun, squealing while pointing out to the Pacific waters excitedly where they could make out the faintest hints of a dolphin’s spout. And what a smile it was. Her best friend really was stunning, inside and out, especially with that lovable grin, twinkle in her mahogany eyes, and that adorable voice..

Jen mentally halted at the appreciating thoughts, blinking rapidly. Now was _not_ the time for unpacking such ideas. She’d wait for another nightly wander around her house to contemplate these more frequenting thoughts. Another worry for another time. Not today. No worries. Today was her family day and she was going to enjoy every moment of it to its fullest, including her company.

Instead, Jen easily returned the grin, taking a step up to her friend, basking in the warmth from both above and beside her. Maybe the younger half of her family-unit had run off, but she still had her own personal ball of sunshine to light her day.

For now, she could not fathom asking for anything more.

...

It had been at least an hour of hopping in and out of little shops along the street, both woman having no less than one small purchase under the belts by then. Jen had been returning a text to Charlie, asking to select a lunch restaurant, while Judy waited patiently against the boardwalk’s fence, adding her two cents about local vegetarian restaurants (those ideas were shot down by both Jen and Charlie’s reply text, respectively).

Although the hustle and bustle of the Saturday beach strip was noisy, including tourist packed crowds talking, cars passing, and beach music blaring from some unknown region of sandy coast, something sang above the rest of the daily racket; something Jen was ready to label worse than a bald eagle’s shriek amplified through a megaphone. A sound, a _voice_ , she never ever would wish to hear for the rest of her life.

“Judy Hale!?”

At the shrill call of her name, the brunette had barely even turned around to face the opposite direction when a body came colliding into her, arms wrapping around her small body tightly. The victim of the hug let out a surprised squeak as a ball of bright color surrounded her.

The blonde woman had equally turned away from her texts just in time to watch what looked like another tropically dressed, hippie looking woman crash into her friend.

“Huh? Wh-“ Judy stuttered before seeming to relax within the more friendly than dangerous embrace. The stranger pulled back slightly, but not breaking the python-like squeeze on the small girl. It was then that Judy’s eyes went even wider, jaw unhinging in surprise; recognition was etched across her features. “Maggie?”

“The one and only!”

Judy’s lashes blinked rapidly beneath the coverage of her long bangs, and smiled. “Wow! H-hi!” She seemed stunned out of functional words after the discovery of this person’s identity. She leaned back, out of the hug.

The other girl picked up on the nervous aura immediately. “Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just got so excited!”

Judy nodded and said a quiet, habitual ‘It’s okay’ with a brush of her hand.

“Are you living around here?” asked the opposite woman, an excited lift to her voice matching her pleased expression.

The wavy haired artist seemed to hesitate in her choice of answer before she shook her head, small half shrug along with it. “Nah, I’ve been living down in Laguna for the last year. This is just a day trip.” It still seemed to impress the other, though there was a small drop of excitement.

“Wow, good for you.” She motioned around them, before mumbling knowingly, nudging her elbow. “I guess this place is a bit too pricey, eh? Probably feel like you don't belong here.”

Judy awkwardly shrugged her shoulders again, with a small attempt at a smile before tossing the question back instead of adding to the comment. “Ah..uh, how about you? I thought you’d moved to New York City..?” Her voice wavered but remained pleasant.

The red headed woman beamed with a large, pearly grin, obviously excited to have been recalled in some way. “That’s right! Manhattan’s Upper East side. We’ve just been here visiting my brother-in-law this week.”

The petite brunette had an agreeable smile plastered across her features as she tilted her head, looking at the opposite woman who seemed pleased to just keep talking on.. and on.. and on...

From her spot on the outskirts of some invisibility zone, Jen watched the conversation continue with raised brows. Carefully, she studied her friend’s side profile as the interaction progressed.

She’d now known the quirky woman for pushing nine long, yet action filled months at this point. She’d seen countless expressions spanning the entire gray-scale spectrum from exuberant joy, to raw anger, to unbelievable broken grief. She knew how those dark chocolate eyes turned upwards when something brought her happiness, and how the corner of her lips curved down in just the slightest when giving an uncertain response. As with many other things, Jen had thought about this before and was firm in her belief that it was definitely _not_ weird to know so much about her friend. It had been so long and they’d shared so much together, it was only natural that Jen would come to notice the distinct idiosyncrasies of her house guest; facial expressions included.

That all said, even from the short distance and the way Judy’s bangs covered a portion of her eyes from Jen’s angle, the taller woman noticed how that ever present smile did not reach her eyes. _That is not her real smile.._ Okay, so Judy definitely did not seem super thrilled to have run into this ghost of her past. Jen watched Judy bring her hands to behind her back. Another detail stored in her brain. _Nervous, too? What’s making her so anxious with this stranger?_

Already, Jen was on alert, eyes switching to look at the newcomer with a more analytic inspection. The middle-aged woman’s dyed red hair was pulled up into a long sweet ponytail; pale skin tinged pink, likely having forgone sunblock this morning. Didn’t she mention being from New York? _Tch. East coast folk really don’t understand the intensity of Pacific sunburns do they?_ And her face was so unusually blinding. If Jen compared Judy’s bright smile to that of the sun, basking in its golden warmth, then this woman’s was like looking up at an eclipse; painful and damaging.

Sure, Jen shouldn’t be making such baseless judgments so prematurely. That was an unbecoming thing to do.. but she couldn’t help but feel protective of Judy’s well-being, especially after learning of and (unfortunately) seeing the sweet girl dredge through the toxicity of previous family and romantic relationships. If this stranger had anything good to redeem herself with, then so be it. _Prove_ it. Until then, Jen had no qualms about guilty until proven innocent.

As the two continued to chat in front of her for another drawn out minute, Jen shifted her weight, causing her heeled boot to scuff the sandy ground. It seemed to catch her friend’s attention because the next thing Jen knew, the petite woman had slithered up to her (much more frequented) home at Jen’s side. That soft tan hand landed on her forearm, much in the manner the duo usually did, but Jen couldn’t help the slight alarm she had at the contact. After all, she had been pretty obviously ignored for the last few minutes while simultaneously festering under her analysis.

“Oh! Maggie, this is Jen,” Judy said, finally introducing the tallest woman of the group.

Blinking back and forth between the two darker haired women in front of her, feeling those new vibrant green eyes land on her for the first time, Jen finally found her voice. With a throat clear she stumbled to say “Uh, yeah. Hi.” Her hand came up sharply in a stiff wave. Though she was sure she was failing, she was still hoping she wasn’t coming off as uncomfortable as she felt; her friend’s previous unnerved expression still lingering in her mind.

The newcomer tilted her head, words surprised. “Oh, my, I didn’t even _notice_ you there.” Those keen eyes gave the real-estate agent a once over and Jen could not fight her own unnerve growing beneath the scrutiny. “Huh. I’m surprised, too. I mean..” She used her hand to gesture up and down the blonde’s body. “You really stand out amongst the other people downtown.”

 _What the Hell does she mean by that?_ “Oh..?” she decided to try in hesitant curiosity, knowing she was toeing a line that may cause her to snap if she did not keep hold of her tongue.

The other merely shrugged, nose rising a smidgen. “You’re dressed like you’re ready for a stuffy board meeting while in 85 degree beach weather.”

The words were spoken so calmly, yet with a sprinkle of snide remark, all wrapped up and packaged as if nothing more than nonchalant observation. But the short-fused woman immediately frowned, barely stifling her physical recoil of how this stranger could literally say such a thing without even knowing her.

Okay, sure. Judy may be standing beside her wearing a vastly contrasting, vivid purple, full length sun dress decorated with tropical flowers and parrots while, in comparison, her own dark evergreen blouse and pressed white dress slacks looked rather stale.. but who did this woman think she was, butting into their leisurely morning with such sugar-coated, sour slights?

“Um, I have work this afternoon,” she said with raising intonation, ripe sarcasm crackling in her tone. She defended her decision to forgo the common weekend beach attire as the greater Laguna Beach population would tend to dawn (and, if looking around, yeah, they _were_ all wearing colorful clothes similar to Judy). But Jen did not care in the least. Standing up straighter, arms crossing and hip cocking, Jen then spoke again, pointedly, with her brows furrowed. “I’m sorry.” No she wasn’t. “ _Who_ are you, again?” There was annoyance prominently laced in her voice.

The new woman laughed, voice like an off-tune melody flittering through the air; ear piercingly sharp on each note and chopped like the rhythm of a scratched CD. She then offered her hand, which the blonde stiffly reciprocated after a subtle encouraging nudge from the girl at her side. “Maggie Ott, or, formerly known as Smith back in our day.” Her head nodded toward Jen’s side, catching mahogany eyes off-guard with a wink. “We go _way_ back.”

Jen blinked, blue eyes glancing at her side where she saw a small but awkward smile come to the always chipper face she’d come to know.

Under the gazes, now coming from both directions, Judy seemed to finally find her voice again in the conversation. “Yeah, we were pretty close,” she said while looking up at her best friend, a falter barely noticeable in her otherwise stable tone. “Roommates, too.”

Before Jen could even get an acknowledging nod in to accept Judy’s offered information, there was a jovial cackle. Ugh, damn did this woman have a grating voice.. “Aw. ‘Roommates’? That’s all I get?” She locked eyes with stormy blues again, smug matter of fact stare. “We dated for a few years.”

There was a long pause following the admission. One in which Jen just stared, not really processing the words or their meaning. A blink or two followed before the association was made; neurons lighting up as the links drew together. Suddenly, with dark lashes fluttering and tongue tying with surprise, she barely managed a choked, “Wh-what?” _No. No way. Judy’s never mentioned that sort of thing before. Judy had Steve and Nick. It’s not true..?_

Her thoughts trailed off in a discombobulated stupor. From her side, without even looking, she could practically feel an aura carrying a heaving wave of embarrassment, only confirmed when she finally had the courage to glance over. There, she observed that beautiful sun-kissed skin having paled to ashen gray; the only hint of coloring was the brilliant rouge blooming over cheeks while her shoulders scrunched up into her ears. _Ooookay.._ Jen could obviously read the younger brunette well enough by now. _So.. it_ is _true._

Well, _this_ was certainly quite the development. It had never come up within their many nightly conversations, and by this point in their relationship, Jen had figured every stone was already turned. _Judy dated a girl? For real?_ Jen was suddenly overcome with curiosity, although she knew this was absolutely not the time to start grilling the poor girl on something that must have been tucked away amongst her untold secrets for a reason. Hell, Judy had come clean about fucking manslaughter, for God’s sake. Jen could only imagine this was either one of two options: Either it was so insignificant of a subject that the woman had merely forgotten about it, or it was so sensitive of a subject that she’d purposely kept it hidden between them. Hidden from _Jen_.

Above the rest, it was _that_ thought which weighed most heavily in her gut.

So lost in her own mind, and her concern over where their trust line actually was, she barely noticed the irritating voice having picked up again, blabbering on about something which Jen was absolutely not interested in. By the potential grace of some higher power she didn’t believe in, a familiar loud jingle began to sing from her purse. Her work phone. Oh, she’d never been more grateful to take a business call in her life.

“Excuse me for a sec,” she said tightly, squinting slightly in exasperated annoyance at the irritating woman before turning and stepping away. She did offer a soft nod toward Judy, though; an actual excusable apology for up and leaving the poor girl with this.. son of biscuit eating bulldog.

She made her way across the street where she leaned against the cool concrete of a shop’s siding, enjoying a lick of shade to escape the hot summer sun.

It wasn’t a long call. Just the client asking about their meet-up this afternoon. Jen was hopeful to close a deal with him with one of two spectacular mansions up in Newport Beach; bit more of a drive than her normal coverage area, but closing deals there was always worth it. “Yes.. yes, that one’s near Newport Island Park.. 2 o-clock works.” While she confirmed the times and addresses, she turned and watched the two woman that she’d left behind back on the boardwalk.

She was thankful to be on autopilot for most of the guy’s questions, because she found an interest in watching the exchange. Did Judy just hand over her phone? Why would she give that too her ex? Jen found herself shaking her head, realizing that she could not go down that rabbit hole right now. Later, though. Jen Harding would definitely get her answers.

After another short minute, she had hung-up, sliding her phone into her purse, and heading back over to the pier.

Leaning against the siding fence, Judy’s face was lost staring at her phone; something that she rarely did. Jen was the one who was usually glued to her smartphone, mainly for work purposes. The hippie girl generally used it for the bare minimum, especially when outside in gorgeous weather, always telling Jen to live a little more in the moment. Thus, this odd behavior brought a frown to her lipstick painted lips. With a deep breath, ready to rejoin her friend, Jen stepped up. She purposefully made her steps a little firmer to alert the woman, hoping not to spook her out of whatever haze she’d been entrapped in.

As expected, two round chocolate orbs popped up to watch Jen’s arrival; cute umber curls blowing with the ocean’s breeze.

Jen pretended to take an interested glance around the general vicinity, hoping her voice didn’t betray her gratefulness that the strange woman was finally gone. “So.. where did Ms. Mags disappear to?” She must have done a poor job at masking her accurate feelings because her close friend lit up with a smile, delicate giggle following in tow. A warm tickle in her chest was her body’s automatic response to the sound. It was like true music to Jen’s ears. It actually momentarily startled her to even think that. _Damn, that chick’s voice was so obnoxious that I must be craving normality.._ Yeah, that made the most sense.

“She had to leave to meet up with her husband and brother-in-law,” said the shorter woman, pushing herself up and away from her perch. Following a quick blink, she gave a cheeky grin to the blonde, easily having seen through Jen’s façade from the start. “Try not to seem so disappointed.”

Blue eyes rolled, sarcasm freely heavy on her tongue as she responded to the tease. “Oh yeah, I’ll definitely try my hardest on that.”

Carefully, Jen watched as Judy stuffed her pink cased device back into her super mini backpack (Judy claimed it was all the rage; Jen claimed it was impractical). Easily the duo fell into step with each other, continuing their original stroll back down the boardwalk to an area of restaurants, albeit in mildly lower spirits than earlier.

As they went along, Jen tried to stop herself from giving any obvious glances in the brown haired girl’s direction. The silence was a bit awkward, and Jen wanted to ask more about the strange woman, but all she kept coming back to was the fact Judy had been with a girl. _Dated_ a girl. It sat so funny in her thoughts, and certainly not in a bad way. It was just.. weird. Not weird-weird, but like, new weird. She honestly had no way to describe the feeling, except that she felt a rising crave for more information; something insatiable which absolutely should not be nearly this intense. And every discreet glance at that poised little face only spurred her curiosity.

“I can see you watching me, Jen..”

Jen felt her hair stand on end at the quiet call out. So much for her stealth. Immediately, she scoffed. “Uh. No. I’m trying to look at the ocean.” She awkwardly gestured her arm out in front of her pair, ocean the obvious focal point. “It’s a beautiful sight. We should be, ya know.. appreciating and shit.”

Judy made a humming sound that did not seem quite satisfied by the answer, but she nevertheless abruptly turned and leaned on the railing; dress fanning around her feet as she moved. The action caught Jen's attention first, causing her to inadvertently draw her eyes up, slowly, watching every which way the wind moved her flowing beach dress to her cute brunette curls. “Okay,” Judy said, smirking at her housemate with that typical Judy-like giggle, turning her head over her shoulder. “Let’s ‘appreciate and shit’.”

Desperately forcing down the unbidden thoughts of how beautiful the backdrop made her best friend look underneath the mid-day sun, Jen took a deep breath and a drawled step to the rail as well. It still was not time for more strange thoughts like that, and yet apparently her mind was weak. _Dammit Jen. You seriously should appreciate nature’s beauty. Not Judy’s_ , she told herself with sarcastic intent, willfully ignoring the seriousness that lingered hidden within the meaning.

Reining in her feelings, Jen exhaled a little shakily (did those thoughts really rattle her that much?) while they stared out across the beach, a long minute passing with just the two minding their own. “Hey, just curious..” she tried in nonchalance. She looked down at her clasped hands while she could feel Judy’s gaze shift to her. “Maggie isn’t going to be one of those ‘I’m hoping to get back with my long lost lover’ sort of things right?”

Judy scoffed, reaction instantaneous, mouth agape and true look of pained insult splashing across her features. “Oh, God no!”

Jen’s mouth had an urge to twitch, lips itching to smile; beam. It wasn’t exactly the question she had wanted to ask, but hearing that automatic and emphatic response made her feel glad that she did. It was reassuring. Reassuring of what, exactly, she did not intend to question until she was alone and inebriated in her bedroom's safe sanctuary. So, she did her best to keep her voice steady while proceeding on to what had more so been on her mind; irking her just a bit in her pondering. “Then why’d you never mention her before?”

Judy blinked before looking forward again. Jen was near positive she heard a murmured apology. Oye, she must have come off more annoyed than she had planned. Jen quickly offered an amending, “No, I'm not mad. I just mean, if it’s because she was a girl, I hope you know that I’d _never_ judge you based on that.. I mean, even _I_ had gone a bit wild on spring break ’92.”

Now that brought a little laugh to Judy’s thin lips. “I know. I remember your stories of that,” she said grinning while the blonde nodded with a thoughtful hum, finding herself reminiscing about that crazy Senior year in college. Some words including ‘Cancun’ and ‘rum’ were mumbled absentmindedly in memory. “Well, for us, it was also ‘all the rage’ as Ellen came out the year we started dating. Correlation, not causation, mind you.” The brunette smirked at her own story and pointed observation, which her friend mirrored.

“But,” Judy continued after the soft reprieve of humor, gaining Jen’s attention once more. “I didn’t find it that important to mention. Besides, it was forever ago..” She trailed off, but Jen could hear the urge to say something more. Eventually, after almost a minute stretch filled with whipping ocean breeze, screaming children, and the drone of passing cars, the brunette finally added, “I doubt you’ll be surprised, but it wasn’t exactly a good relationship.. and it wasn’t a clean break in the least.”

With an understanding nod, Jen had to agree. Given the track record she’d already been aware of, this was farthest from surprising. It did stir a wave of annoyance, though. This was turning out to be yet another asshole of a romantic partner Judy had dealt with. It got old fast, especially to Jen.

“Not clean, huh?” the blonde questioned lightly. The girl beside her brought her hand up to rest her cheek against it, elbow leaning on the railing for support.

“She’s a year older. And don't let her hippie-esq dress fool you. She majored in finance, had a legit part-time job which actually turned into full-time when she graduated.. She paid for our place. I wasn’t able to hold a decent job with my curriculum,” Judy said, implying the path of her Studio Art degree and the many hours she was required to spend on assignments outside class. “She always reminded me about how much I needed her, and it was true.” Jen’s brows deepened hearing it, but the smaller woman let out a half-hearted laugh. “I guess I didn’t learn my lesson, because then there was Steve.” Her lips gave a lilting shrug while her free hand waved in a dismissing manner.

“I see,” the other woman offered, before she tsked her tongue. “You seriously got to stop dating assholes.”

Brown eyes gave a side glance. “Nick wasn’t an asshole.”

Jen rolled her eyes with a sarcastic lilt in her tone. “Okay, sorry. I meant stop dating assholes, and start dating people you actually like back.”

There was a soft laugh. “I’ll think about it.” She tilted her head to look up at her closest friend, a little speck of sunlight glinting in those ( _don’t say perfect, don’t say perfect.._ ) perfect eyes.

Jen mirrored the look before bringing her hand under Judy’s face, cupping her opposite cheek over Judy’s already resting palm and bringing their heads close in familiar comfort; shoulders flush and comfortable.

She gently patted Judy’s face and felt the girl relax into the crook of her neck. Knowing how this subtle action actively relaxed the woman made Jen smile despite the newly acquired information. It was yet one more toxic relationship to catalog away in her mental Judy file.

“Even though you’d just met again, she seemed like she was trying to brag..”

There was a nod against her head. “Unfortunately, that’s never changed.” Judy then sighed, not attempting to move from her current spot. Jen let her stay, no complaints from her end while Judy vented more. “And she actually wants to hang out with me to catch up. I don’t know if I can _survive_ that,” she groaned weakly.

The blonde stiffened, trying to glance down at the mess of curly brown locks, blonde brows raised “She _does_?” With another small nod, Jen figured it must have been why they did that phone exchange while she was away. She scoffed. “Well tell her no.”

Judy finally straightened up again and Jen wished she didn’t immediately miss the warmth which was ripped from her body. But she watched the girl carefully. Given the artist’s history of serving others’ needs before her own, Jen half expected the woman to fight her on the proposed idea. Instead, a sly side glance was tossed her way.  “I guess that would be the best option, oh Wise One.”

The older of the two took a moment to grin, still caught off guard at the ease which her suggestion was accepted. “Yeah..? Yeah! It would. Wise One is always right.” Another shared laugh fluttered between them. There was still the smallest lick of unease present across Judy’s features, despite her best efforts to go along with the recommendation. Jen looked out to the ocean with a thoughtful expression, shrug accompanying her words. “Well. If it’s any consolation to make you happier with that decision..” She tilted her head toward Judy, her narrowed blue eyes locking with interested umber pools. “She seemed like a real bitch.”

Both women devolved into a fit of laughter; voices carried away with the call of gulls and crash of ocean waves.

...

Evening had begun its descent, cool air filtering through the large house as the sun’s last orange colors dipped beyond the foreseeable horizon. Dinner had been simple, with the boys both disappearing up to their rooms the moment it was done, as well as the house’s not-so-temporary guest slipping away rather early. That was the unusual part, at least in the view of the household’s matriarch.

As she had been doing for the last 30 minutes, ever since entering the kitchen to organize everything and cleaning the last of her white dishes form dinner, Jen kept glancing out the back windows where she had last seen the hurricane of a woman disappear to. There, by their sun chairs, she watched the partially visible tuft of brown hair shifting, body moving uncomfortably beneath the light of the setting summer sun. Every couple of glances, Jen noticed a tan hand come up and be threaded through the soft hair, only to be roughly pulled away. She’d even heard not one, not two, but five frustrated sighs and grumbles, loud enough to be heard over the distant chirps of cicadas and travel through the screens of the open windows.

When she’d finished drying her last plate, wiping off her hands and hanging the wash rag on the faucet to air out, she turned toward the backyard. Carefully, she approached the sliding glass door, opening it quietly and stepping outside. A few more frustrated grumbles were carried to her ears and she distantly wondered if Judy had started to lose her fraying sense of sanity for the evening. Both women had tendencies to walk that fine line on a daily basis, thanks to Judy’s overwhelming anxieties and Jen’s sweet but delicate scream of a temper.

As the body came into view on the lawn chair, the blonde realized the pink phone was in Judy’s grasp yet again; dark eyes glued to the lit screen. Now she was starting to worry. Such a rare expression paired with the device’s increased occupancy in her hand, with only one obscure variable in their day-to-day routine; Jen chewed her lip, knowing whole-heartedly what unauthorized subject was occupying the other’s mind.

“Hey.”

Now she had purposefully spoken softly, albeit not soft enough. Unlike her delicate approach earlier, this time the artist jumped in alarm, phone literally tossed in the air as she squeaked with surprise. Jen could not help the laughter that spilled from her lungs at the reaction. Or maybe it was the offended pout which soon followed while Judy berated Jen’s snooping behavior.

Wiping a tear from her eye and taking a seat beside her friend, Jen tried to slow her laughs to a manageable level. “Sorry, sweetie,” she began, still enjoying the sulk etched into Judy’s face. “I really didn’t mean to startle you. I was just curious what’s on your mind.” Her head tilted, feeling the breeze tussle her long blonde bangs. “You’re looking uncharacteristically pensive today.”

There was a short silence before Judy sighed quietly, much more controlled than the previous frustrated breaths from earlier. “Maggie texted me.” Jen’s laughs had already fully subsided by then, but even if they hadn’t, simply hearing that stuck-up bitch’s name would have done the job in sobering her to the situation. “She messaged me to get drinks with them tonight somewhere. I guess there was a change in plans and they have to fly back to New York tomorrow.”

The blonde quirked a brow, voice flat. “Too bad, so sad?” At the dry words, two exasperated brown eyes rolled and stared up at the other woman. Jen chuckled with a shrug, choosing a more adult way to word her sentiment. “Seriously. Just tell her no.”

The response from the curly brown haired girl was stalled, and when it came, the hesitance was palpable. “Uh.. I.. I couldn’t.”

The blonde stared at her blankly. She thought they had already gone over this earlier. “Judy, you are too much of a people pleaser,” Jen said with an honest and open perspective; her timbre was barely strong enough to mask her worry. The longer they knew each other, every passing day, the more Jen’s feelings of protection increased. Really, Judy needed to take herself into consideration for once in her life, or else Jen was sure she would have to grab her shoulders and shake this sense into her.

Under the concerned gaze, he brunette fidgeted with the phone in her hands. “I know.. and I tried, _really_. But she caught me in it.”

Jen frowned. “‘Caught you in it’?” _What the Hell does that mean?_ She then took a keen eye to Judy’s behavior; her expression and body movements, together with her words and the desperateness of her voice. Blonde brows sloped up as Jen began to piece together the situation. Judy was a terrible liar. Yeah, sure, she had fooled Jen just enough during her period of all consuming grief, and, granted, that was a massive life-altering secret. But Jen had quickly learned that Judy was an absolutely god awful liar when it came to anything else that fell short of manslaughter. This situation reeked of a poorly constructed and concealed tale. “Judy,” she ordered cautiously with as soft of a stern voice she could physically manage. “What _exactly_ happened when I was on the phone earlier?”

The addressed woman lulled her head onto her shoulder and groaned weakly. Within a careful moment, the artist started her confession, words tumbling out into long sentences, and Jen was totally unaware of how this was going to slowly become an absolute rock slide of disaster for her night.

 “So Maggie had wanted to go out while she and her husband were in town so she invited me and ‘my husband’ to go,” she chose to start with, heavily utilizing air-quotes to annotate the story. “I hesitated and she immediately called me out on it. ‘I can’t believe you’re not married at 41, what are you waiting for, you shouldn’t be so picky, blah blah, blah..’” She had raised her pitch, the frequency nasally and so totally spot-on to the grating voice from earlier that Jen had to cover her mouth from her snorting chuckle. She knew this story was serious by Judy’s worrisome tone and gestures, and yes, she was concerned as well because this lady was a jerk, but the impersonation was too much. Too annoyingly spot-on. Taking a moment to look at the laughing mother, Judy took a breath. “So at that point, I was just getting so flustered.. I panicked..”

Jen watched her, the fidgeting becoming worse that earlier. She knew whatever the biggest issue here happened to be, _this_ had to be it. Judy Hale plus panic never equaled a smart decision. Jen had that well documented in her known history. She cleared her throat, gently prompting the woman to proceed. “Okay.. You panicked and did.. what, exactly?”

Judy closed her eyes tight, balls of her hands coming her heating cheeks. “I told her I actually _was_ married and that we’d be happy to meet up.”

At the confession, again Jen couldn’t help herself from sputtering a laugh, this one full and almost squawking at the absolute ridiculousness of the situation. She bent at the waist, clutching her sides and slapping at her knee. Judy had literally gone and gotten herself into a classic TV sitcom comedy scenario. This was fucking hilarious!

“Stop laughing! This is serious!” pathetically whined the other woman, lightly slapping Jen’s shoulder out of offense before dropping her head into her hands, completely covering her blazing face this time.

The blonde heaved some deep breaths, wiping multiple tears from her eyes this time around. “This is t.. too much,” she rasped with a smile, trying to catch her breath between words. “I figured you’d be done with the lies after learning your lesson so many times over.”

The muffled voice was barely intelligible from its squished place within her palms. “I know..”

Watching the mortification blanket the brunette’s slouched body, Jen tilted her head, very curious to the situation now. “So what’s been the development since then?”

A pink phone was abruptly thrust into her chest, grumbled words filled with a pitiful attempt at authority. “Just read it.” Jen obliged, taking the phone and swiping in their shared knowledge of the code (she forgot just exactly when they decided to use each other’s birthdays to ‘increase security’, but it had to have been after a few good hits mixed with sweet red wine).

The phone screen lit up to the text chain. It was a new number, the thread itself not very long in length, but as Jen scrolled down, her eyes slowly widened and her cheeks started to hurt as she held in the growing laughter at the ridiculous conversation. With every passing text bubble, Judy was digging herself so much deeper and deeper into a cavernous hole that Jen didn’t even think the girl would see the light of day ever again.

“You told her you couldn’t go out to get drinks tonight.. because you needed to find _childcare_?” The quiet evening air was filled with a cackle of laughter paired along with weak, embarrassed groans.

“I told you, I tried to say no and then.. I panicked!”

Jen’s rich laughs continued while handing the phone back. “And she’s suggested coming to her place tonight instead? So your _kids_ could come?” The brunette curled herself up into a ball, facing her friend but leaning against the ridged wooden back of the long chair. “This is comedy gold.”

Another pathetic moan. “Jen, what should I do?” She was sounding so weak and desperate, with a bit of guilt at herself for ending up in this situation.

The blonde shook her head with a half shrug. “Well, you could either 1. come clean, or 2. add to the lie saying that only you could go, I guess?” She smirked. “Though having to sit in the same room with that woman with no back-up for longer than 5 minutes would probably be hell.”

While Judy bobbed her head, a feeble lift of her lips as she also agreed to the statement, the older woman stood up. She stretched her shoulders, jovial mood at the situation making her feel light, even if at her dearest friend’s expense. Although, she did have a bit of pity for the other (fully grown-ass adult) woman for winding herself up in something like this.

As she was stepping away, another little thought came to mind and, being so relaxed in the moment, Jen couldn’t pass on the tease.

“Ya know, your third option would be to go out and find a husband within the next hour,” she said with a wink. She’d let Judy stew in her choices, although none of them were really particularly practical or pleasant. But this would be a good lesson for the girl.

Just before she could get a full two steps in toward the house, she heard her name called, and felt a small hand wrap itself around her wrist, yanking her back. She spun and faced the seated woman who was looking up at her with the largest puppy dog eyes in the entire history of mankind. Uh oh.

“I have an idea,” her raspy voice said quickly, suddenly, almost out of breath with eagerness. Jen immediately started to feel a sweat forming on her palms. A Judy idea? Double uh oh. “I never specifically told Maggie that I had a _husband_..”

Jen blinked, staring down at the woman she’d taken in, housed, and fed for the last almost nine months.

At first, a breathed laugh was her initial response. Because this had to be a joke. It _had_ to be! Right? Yet the look in those perfect ( _stop saying perfect_ ), umber spheres told her so much to the contrary.

It took a moment longer than necessary, but she somehow located her voice. “You’re not.. are you suggesting that _I_..?” The rest of her words were lost and left to hang above them in the now dark yard.

The olive skinned woman tugged lightly at the small wrist in her hand, the other hand curling into a fist and pressing against her chest; the same action she did when ever speaking from her honest little heart. Her head tilted to the side, brown bangs brushing over her eyes as she did her best to flutter her lashes in the most innocent look possible.

The first word flying to the forefront of Jen’s mind was ‘ _Fuck_.’

The second being ‘ _No_.’

Unfortunately, they never had the chance to escape her brain’s confines. Soon those words were crushed beneath the weight of quickly piling thoughts, leaving her in a haze and almost breathless at the abruptness. What was causing her head to spin? Was it the subject at hand; the social crime she was being tasked in accomplishing? Or the guilty feeling of wanting to help out her friend; one who had lied her way into a ludicrous situation once again? Or the idea of having to play opposite the significant other who literally struck down her own SO nearly a year ago? All the jumbled thoughts and uptick in her heartbeat had to be from a horrendous combination of those really _really_ important things, because it obviously couldn’t possibly be the adorably pleading woman below her!

Yet those deep pools shimmered beneath the deck lights, glossy and pretty. That face, so round and soft, iconic smile lines present from years of the highest of joys amidst mixtures of debilitating woes. The way the wind swept up around them, cooling the atmosphere, yet that tanned hand was still like fire on her skin. Her heart beat continued to quicken, and she was so befuddled at the intensity of pounding against her ribs simply from the mere sight of the woman seated below her; the same woman she had grown accustomed being at her side day in and day out.

For the life of her, even decades from now, Jennifer Harding would forever wonder what failed the strength of her titanium resolve, and question the status of her sanity in this absurd alternative universe situation. What she _did_ know in that moment, at the very least, though, was that Judy was here, looking downright adorably in need of protection and support which she sought out in Jen, of all people, and it was that particular thought which helped with her clarity and somehow made her heart’s painful thrumming comfortably calm.

As a string of words left her lips, Jen could barely recognize them as her own. She let her hand move slowly, readjusting to take the brunette’s within her still anxious, clammy palm.

“Okay, I guess.. what are friends for?”

Her words may have held some semblance of confidence, but in her mind, she was desperately praying to a deity; any one of them that would give her an ear and maybe answer her wish. _I really_ really _hope that I’m not about to regret this decision._

She was going to be at Judy’s side supporting her, and Judy would be there too. For a second, she let her anxiety release and felt confident. It would be fine.

One more look down at the younger woman’s elated grin, eyes sparkling and familiar smile brighter than the rising full moon over them, Jen felt at least a small wave of relief from this drowning whirlpool of emotions.

Yes. This is...

Fine.

.

.

.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so delayed in posting, the story got away from me.
> 
> Also, there'll be a little Epilogue now because, why not.

. 

_This is_ so _not fine. How did I just let this happen?_

Jennifer Harding, once fleetingly filled with relief and confidence yet now only filled with growing unease, stared straight ahead down the road as she pondered her situation for the nth time this evening. Her fingers drummed aimlessly against the car’s steering wheel, trying to temper the waves of anxiety that were finally beginning to roll through her nerves. It was not even a full hour ago that she embarrassingly found herself morphing into pure pliable putty within the hand of her best friend. Exactly 59 minutes, 16 seconds and counting.

Originally, her night’s agenda was supposed to be nice and relaxing. She had been planning on retiring to bed at a decent hour, opening a new book, and enjoying some sweet _Pinot Grigio_ because her mood had been light enough for white wine for once. Her newly purchased satin pajamas (because Judy had introduced her to the ‘Treat Yo Self’ motto) were still freshly pressed, absolutely calling her name to come wrap herself up in them like a homecoming hug. Last, she had been ready to scrub the make-up from her weary face and loosely tie her hair into a comfortable, no-care messy bun. None of that was the case now.

Instead, her welcoming pajamas remained smoothly pressed, left folded on her pillow, forgone for black dress-slacks and an off-white satin blouse. She had released her hair from the tight hold of her business ponytail with the curler ready, painting her lips with a fresh coat of rich burgundy, lashes outlined with dark pen; blue eyes gaining a sparkle as she  appraised her appearance until she felt the rise of superiority and self-confidence fill her. No matter how begrudgingly she felt about the situation, she was not about to show up to her friend’s jerk of an Ex’s place without dressing to goddamn impress.

When she met Judy, who by the way, was dawning an adorable red and white polka-dot calf-length dress, hair bouncing and curled with a matching red hairclip partially holding back her bangs, at the front door, Jen could tell that both women had shared that same thought process. Ultimately, she had to admit, when both had smirked at each other and taken a glance together at the full length mirror, side-by-side, they really did look like a _damn fine_ power couple.

They had just dropped the boys off with the bane of Jen’s existence; Henry excited to see his grandmother while Charlie had moped and grumbled about being uprooted from his video game. Jen could not care less that he was the “only member in his party” that had “resurrection potions” in the middle of a “campaign boss fight.” Honestly, sounded like a flaw in Charlie’s team dynamic so she was pleased with the life lesson that had somehow come out of this event.

And now they found themselves here, driving in silence with rising anxieties over the uncertainty that the night had before them, jumbled thoughts mixing and mulled into heaps of confused emotions inside their heads. At least for the older of the two. Jen really could not speak for her friend’s feelings over their current situation, but given how much the short-tempered woman absolutely _despised_ lacking control of her feelings, it felt better to imagine that she was not alone in her worry.

“So,” Jen finally started, pursing her lips along with the hardened word. She knew that the other woman was looking at her in an instant; waiting for her to express whatever thought had come to mind to finally break the somewhat uncomfortable quietness that had fallen over them in the vehicle. “How are we going to prepare for this?” In her peripheral, she noticed Judy tilt her head, confused, so the blonde shrugged and clarified. “You know, answering questions and whatever. We don’t have much time to write an elaborate backstory for ourselves.”

Well, theoretically, they _could_ have had more time to actually talk this out like mature adults and plan accordingly. They’d been in the car by themselves for almost 15 minutes now just riding in awkward silence. But neither woman seemed quite sure how to begin acknowledging the unusualness of the situation. Hell, the whole plot hadn’t even really been elaborately discussed since Jen had agreed in the first place. A whole new worry was starting to form, one more related to lack of preparation than anything.

With a nonchalant shrug, Judy answered easily, as if she had already come to terms with their situation; something Jen may have to give her begrudging props for while she herself still trudged through the bog of her emotions. “I’ll do my best to field the questions, you just follow my lead, and we’ll go from there!” she said with a chipper smile, proud of her thought.

Jen gave her a long side-glance. Well, okay, fine. That could work as long as they stayed focused and alert. But she had to take a breath before finding a way to express her _other_ concern, haphazardly gesturing with her wrist between their bodies. “Um, and how are we supposed to do.. _this_ part, then?” Why were her cheeks getting hot at asking this? It was literally only logistics.

The brunette’s dark eyes widened, seemingly cool exterior melting at the comment, cheeks growing similarly warm to Jen’s own. She then crossed her arms, sitting back into the deep-set passenger seat, face pensive. “Huh. I hadn’t really thought about that part..” She chewed on her lip in thought while Jen festered in lonely worry since, apparently, she really _was_ the only one having any anxieties plaguing her thoughts leading up to this event. “I guess.. we have to pretend to be like a married couple.”

Blue eyes rolled, emotion flat while she internally bit back a groan. “ _Brilliant_ concept Judy.” She noticed the younger woman smile brightly toward her, having horribly missed the thickness of Jen’s sarcasm for simplistic praise. She heaved a sigh, pressing on. “I meant about the.. you know, the physical stuff..”

“I know,” Judy hummed quietly, somehow not seeming nearly as ungodly awkward as Jen felt. Not even a tenth as awkward. Just the same adorable, carefree spirit as always and damn that fact did _not_ help with Jen’s feelings. “I guess we need to do the usual amount. I’ve never been married, so actually, you’d probably know better.” Chocolate eyes turned back to Jen’s profile, expectant and filled with honest curiousness.

It was Jen’s turn to hesitate, memories of a not so distant and not so enjoyable past creeping up. With a tight shrug of her lips, she lowered her gaze in the slightest, happy to pause a bit longer at a stop sign than required by law. “Eh.. I’m probably not a good example for that.” She knew her friend was still looking at her, waiting for elaboration, and she really had little to gain from hiding her thoughts. “Our physical relationship had left quite _a lot_ to be desired.”

A beat of silence passed, one filled just enough for Judy to process the words, head slowly looking away. Jen had started up the road again, watching the street signs gradually lead them down narrower roads into the heart of the suburbs. “Okay, then,” came Judy’s thoughtful voice, words filled with support. “Just do to me what you wished he’d do to you.”

..Do _what?!_

There was a screech of tires, the SUV jolting abruptly causing both women to lurch forward. Blue eyes were wide, breath hitching along with her companion at the sudden reactive halt; her foot still heavy on the brake. A car behind them blared its horn before swerving around the SUV. Jen watched the sedan speed past and away from them, a short curse leaving her lips. With a glance at her side view mirror, she gradually let up on the pedal and proceeded to move again; the car’s engine revving thousands of times slower than her heart’s rate.

Jen was not sure what she had expected Judy to come up with, both idea-wise or her odd ways choice of wording, but it was absolutely not _that_.

She knew there was a wide set of brown eyes locked on her profile, questioning what on Earth had caused the sudden stop, but she also knew her jaw was too tense for words, so she did not fight away the silent vow on her lips. Her fingers were now white gripped on the wheel while her adrenaline took its sweet ass time to recede. She swallowed hard, trying to catch her breath while hoping to cease her brain’s jumbled imagination that was setting her face aflame. _Calm the fuck down, Jennifer!_ She took a deep breath, trying to talk herself down from.. from whatever reaction this was. _Breathe in.. and out.. in.. and out.._

“Hey! You passed the place!”

The familiar tire screech reared again, smell of burning rubber filling the car’s cab, and Jen really did not want to imagine the tire replacement bill that was likely on her wallet’s horizon. She had enough to worry about with surviving this evening already. Both of them did. Peeking at the brunette who was gently tousling her hair back into a presentable condition, eyes glinting delicately under the outside street lamp, Jen had a feeling that maybe merely surviving tonight wasn’t even going to be the hardest part; not when this lovely, quirky girl would probably be the death of her.

…  
  


“I can’t believe her brother-in-law’s place was only 4 minutes away from me for the last, like, 5 years,” Judy hissed in a disbelieving whisper as they slowly approached the Harbor Ridge home, keeping her voice low as if just in case there were any recorders hidden in the bushes. Jen snorted, shaking her head as she looked the massive house up and down.

The door was large and towering, quite a rich near black colored wood with a beautifully fine finish. Ebony wood by chance? The overall architecture of the building was marvelous, really. Beautiful exterior, gorgeous silver siding reflecting golden porch lights. Mil’ and a half on the market, easy. Jen really wished she could leave her keen housing-eye at home, especially when associating this spectacular building with a woman she had firmly decided had zero redeeming qualities.. even if it technically wasn’t even her house.

They stood together on the brick front step, both glancing at each other in one lasting moment to find the strength they both knew they’d need to make it through tonight. Jen felt her fingers twitch, a brief urge to reach out and take the delicate tan hand resting mere inches form her own; yet not for the purpose of being in character, only for honest reassurance.. if she were being truthful to herself. Which was so stupid.

Such an embarrassment of a situation was avoided, thankfully, as Judy reached up and pressed the doorbell. A gong-like bell echoed inside the mansion. Her itching hands went to brush down the sides of her hips and threading through her hair, anxiously preening in those final seconds of freedom before entering an anticipated evening from Hell.

High heeled footsteps clicked toward the door which swung open a second later. The visual onslaught of seeing this woman again, now all dolled up in rich attire much more befitting than the crunchy beach look from earlier that morning, made Jen grimace more than smile in greeting.

“Judy! So glad you could make it!” Her green eyes slid from her old roommate to where the blonde woman rigidly stood, tight grin still held in place. Maggie blinked back toward Judy, raising her finger to gesture between the new arrivals. “Um..?”

Judy gesticulated absentmindedly, trying to do something to busy her hands while answering the unspoken question. “You remember Jen from this morning, right?” she asked with a nervous chuckle to her voice. Jen could understand the feeling, but also wondered if it was an anxiousness regarding successfully pulling off this lie, or just the entirety of this awkward act the two friends were putting on; the knowledge that they officially had started their performance was maddening enough in itself. When the redhead slowly nodded to Judy’s introduction, the small woman continued. “Well.. when I said I was married, I never specified that I had a _husband_.” Her words were similar to the ones she’d said to Jen earlier that evening, potentially being why Judy sounded so confident in that line. Somehow, the brunette even ended with a shrug and smooth smile which Jen had to commend.

The hostess’ eyes widened with a hand rising to her agape, fuchsia painted lips. “Oh..! I apologize. I didn’t think..” Her hands fell to her hips, amused smirk forming as her mouth regained control. “Huh. I guess it wasn’t just a phase for you back then.”

In her peripheral, Jen could see Judy shift minutely at the words, which sounded much more condescending than mere observance. Big surprise there.

Jen cleared her throat, sucking up her pride at just wanting to strangle this inane person already, and instead, buckling down into her role as a protective spouse. She wasn’t about to question how easy her next actions came, either.

”Yeah, well, lucky for me, it wasn’t.” She made sure to tone down the bite in her voice, directing the subtlest annoyance toward the opposing woman while squaring her shoulders, and finally allowing her hand to give into its previous urge, letting it snake around her petite friend’s waist. There was a brief tensing of the muscles below her fingertips before the brunette leaned slightly into the unexpected touch, and it brought a little rush to her blood. Feeling a bit more confident, Jen motioned in front of them while quirking a brow. “Are we allowed to come in, or..?”

The redhead, who looked like she was taken down at least half a peg by the strong words, hurriedly nodded, letting the two women enter and begin to take off their coats to put inside the closet.

Maggie glanced behind them at the doorway, before straightening up again. Her eyes were curious. “Where are your kids?” she asked with a tilt of her head. “Wasn’t childcare an issue tonight?”

Jen waved her hand to dismiss the worry, rolling her eyes. “Ah, yeah, we dropped them off at the monster-in-law’s last minute,” she stated easily in her usual sarcastic manner when mentioning the real-estate mogul, smile in place because this could be the most honest thing she said all night.  But she paused at Maggie’s confused face.

The redhead immediately looked at Judy with bewilderment. “No way. You seriously reconnected with your mother?”

Both arrivals froze in the entranceway. That was right. Judy had off-handedly mentioned that her and her mother had not been in contact since she was a teenager due to her mom’s substance abuse problems. It was the reason they never really talked about her family life. _Aw, shit._ Jen grit her teeth at this realization. She had just committed her first, of what she unpleasantly accepted was surely not going to be the last, faux-pas in this ruse.

“Ah, she means-“

“I-I, uh..”

The two women tried to explain over the other in a discombobulating fashion, looking nervously at each other, but Jen managed to recover her senses first, grabbing the reins and steering them out of this ( _her_ ) slip up. She forced a semi-awkward laugh, waving her hand. “Sorry. Inside joke. Uh, my mother is a real monster and fits the stereotypical ‘monster-in-law’ profile. So I also call her.. yeah..”  She trailed off under the uneasy acknowledgement.

Luckily, the approach of another body was her blessed savior. A man, dressed nicely, but leisurely all the same, poked his head out from down the hall. “Hello,” he greeted in a calm voice.

The interruption tore Maggie’s attention away from the current topic as she hurriedly approached the other occupant of the house. “Oh, this is my husband, Thomas. This is Judy,” she said, motioning toward the brunette while encouragingly tugging her partner out into the entrance’s vestibule. “And, with a surprise turn of events, this is her wife, Jen.”

At hearing the title voiced for the first time, a rise of something rippled up from Jen’s gut and it lingered comfortably within her chest even as the conversation moved forward.

While both guests gave a wave and reciprocal greeting to the man, Jen watched him look mildly surprised but easily fell back into a relaxed stance, reflective of his current loose attire too. “It’s very nice to finally meet the infamous Judy Hale,” he said with a kind smile. “You as well, Jen. Now I was just about to open the wine. Ladies, follow me..” He turned, gesturing for the group to follow him; the redhead latched onto his arm like some kind of high-profile leech.

Jen quirked a brow after the exchange had finished. This guy was super.. normal. Why the hell was he with this crazy lady? How could he stand it? Jen could not help her confusion, glancing to Judy who must have had the same train of thought. _‘What the fuck?_ ’ she mouthed silently when both hosts’ backs were turned. Judy snickered with an agreeing bob of her head. Both ended up shrugging and following the actual married couple into the kitchen.

…  
  
Jen lifted the slim glass chalice to her lips, letting it frequent the location while trying her best to only sip her now 2nd glass of the early evening. Damn, that was a big challenge. With the woman’s agonizing pitch spewing on and on about the most boring subjects Jen had never cared to imagine, it was a true merit of her will  to not be 2 _bottles_ in by this point. But she also wanted to limit as much of her verbal participation as possible, lest something unwittingly slip by again, and too much alcohol could loosen her tongue way too well.

Although conversation had been rather stale by Jen’s opinion, she tried her damnedest to keep a positive air as it went along. That included doing her best not to hurl at the obnoxious touchy-feely behavior going on across the kitchen island. Although, it definitely seemed like Mr. Ott was enjoying the clinginess much less than his wife. It could have been comical if it wasn’t so nauseating at the same time.

Doing her best to avoid the sight, she glanced to her side, pleased that Judy seemed just as uncomfortable as she did; damned fake smile plastered for show. Certainly, no normal married couple acted so flamboyantly about their relationship while entertaining. It was impolite. A little would be fine. She and Ted sure never did anything beyond the bare minimum, and even then they usually just stood next to each other and called it a day. She paused at the thought, eyes still on the petite brunette, noticing the girl was keeping enough room for the Holy Ghost between their bodies.

Wasn’t that what Judy had mentioned in the car? To be a bit more physical as comfortable, just to sell their act? Sure, no way was the snogging fest across from them normal, but they probably looked a bit stiff standing with a canyon of space between them. 

That’s right. Jen was in charge of this part of their act, and honestly, given how long the conversation had been going on with Judy’s lead, Jen was definitely slacking off on her end. _Right. I need to do what I always wanted Ted to do to me._ It was Judy’s words that came to mind again, easily flushing her cheeks. After some long seconds spent calming her senses and simultaneously wracking her memory, she was surprised to come up with next to nothing that she had wanted; at least nothing on par to what was on public display from the other couple. Honestly, just feeling secure, wanted, and loved was all she could think of.

She took pause and blinked. Well, maybe that's enough?

Swallowing down the nervousness attached to her coming action and keeping her blue eyes averted down toward the counter, Jen reached out beside her, hand landing on the upper of Judy’s back. Coming a bit out of nowhere, she knew it surprised the girl to some degree, perhaps less than the first time she did it, despite Judy keeping quite a neutral disposition. Trying to make everything seem natural and smooth, Jen took another distracted taste of her wine while gently tugging her palm over Judy’s shoulder blade. It was just enough pressure to cause Judy to lean in toward Jen’s side in the most fluid motion that they may as well have been doing this for years.

With a brief last minute glance, she could make out a sweet little smile on Judy’s lips (a real one!) before the younger woman leaned her head toward Jen’s shoulder; sun tanned arm wrapping around her waist in response. Jen’s heart swelled immediately and her smile grew; the sensation from the physical touch she had craved hit her square in the chest, and she couldn’t believe she’d been so touch-starved to begin with.

Having the lithe woman flush against her side was warm and comfortable and Jen knew she shouldn’t have taken such a large inhale but she did anyways and, goddamn, when had Judy started wearing a new perfume to make her smell as sweet as the Garden of Eden? The buzz of her drink probably intensified her enjoyment of their current position, but Jen was nowhere near complaining. Was it weird to hope that Judy was feeling equally as happy and relaxed?

Even as her wine dwindled and her thirst for a refill rose, Jen found herself somewhat more at ease while interlocked with her dearest friend, and, just like this morning, there was that damned sense of loss again when she finally parted to reach for the bottle. Maggie had begun talking more and not even the euphoric effect of holding the petite artist at her side was enough to dull the accompanying ache which that voice caused in Jen's skull.

“Goodness, I’m so happy you were able to meet up on such a last moment,” said the hostess after trailing off from some laughs regarding their adventures in Orange County this week, turning her full attention back to the guests.

Judy nodded toward the couple across the island. “The timing worked out well. Too bad you have to leave so soon.”

Jen just gagged at the somewhat disappointed tone Judy had managed to successfully fake. The artist may be a wonder at conversing and socializing with people, but unless a sale was involved, Jen was not one to lay on the sugar.. and, even then, if it involved any type of vapid twat then that sweetness was also out the window.

“I know. Honestly, though, I cannot wait to get home,” Maggie said with a dreamy air to her voice. “Manhattan is quite a wonder. Our penthouse overlooks Central Park and everything.” Her lips were smug, twinkle in her eye. “If you ever get the chance, you should really try to visit for at least a few days. We could paint the town red!”

Jen rolled her eyes, teeth gnawing on the rim of her newly refilled chalice to stifle her remarks as the woman continued to speak, this time her topic choice more grating than usual. _What a load of bull._ But she mustn’t have done well at stopping the smallest of grumbles from echoing around her glass because she was soon under the attention of the other listeners.

“Jen?” asked Thomas; the other quiet occupant seeming to make a connection with her within their general shared lack of participation. “Did you say something?”

The blonde woman frowned, blinking momentarily before pulling her drink away. “Ah no. Just that I’d never been impressed with Manhattan when I visited, personally.”

Green eyes blinked, stupefied, before she tsked. “Well when you’re used to West Coast living-“

“-Jen’s actually from Brooklyn originally,” Judy piped up, cutting off her old acquaintance; undoubtedly proud to be sharing one of their earliest shared memories together.

The woman across from them gave a small ‘uh huh’ at the statement. She let her smirk from before grow more snide. “Oh. That explains the hostility toward the Big Apple then. Brooklyn’s known for being a _bit_ rough around the edges.”

The blonde was taken aback. “Excuse me, I grew up in Bay Ridge.” She crossed her arms as she name-dropped the affluent neighborhood, hip cocked as she took a defensive stance. The liquid courage did not help with her temper control, that was for sure. But seriously. She could deal with getting her work attire picked apart, but how dare this woman now start making slights at Jen’s hometown too. Was nothing sacred anymore?

The moment felt like the atmosphere was becoming a bit hostile, and Jen would be dead set on defending her home turf’s reputation as fit. It was only when she noticed the calming look coming from her side that Jen let out a long breath, desperately rationalizing with herself with all of her might. It was not a time, nor place, for aggression.

Heaving a huge internal sigh and implementing the only thing she took away from Friends of Heaven, she lowered her voice, purposefully thickening her accent to one she usually kept hidden. “Ey, just ‘cuz we talk like this doesn’t mean we all outta the Bronx, ait?”

The little bit of joking did its job at lightening the tension; placating to social norms and pleasantries despite Jen wanting to partake in no such thing with Maggie involved. Just taking one for the team.

“Hey that’s spot on!” laughed the only man in the room, raising his own glass to which Jen managed the same in reciprocation. He then turned, lifting up a store bought pastry box, big smile on his face. “Alright, now who wants pie?”

Still standing with her glass partially raised, Jen blinked, looking to her side to meet the same unsure look from before. For real. What in the world was this nice guy doing with some loony like Maggie?

While the group divvied up the pie pieces, heading into the dining room to eat, Jen pulled up a chair beside her fake-spouse. She tilted her head toward the kitchen where muffled conversation was barely discernable before looking at the petite woman. She kept her voice low while talking.

“Looks like things are going okay so far.” The brunette nodded with a smile.

“Surprisingly, so,” she whispered with actual disbelief to her voice. “I’m impressed you’ve lasted so long." Jen snorted mumbling 'ditto' under her breath. The younger woman returned a smirk. "You almost looked like you were smiling during some of the conversation earlier, too.” She nudged her shoulder playfully with the taller woman’s.

Jen grinned wryly, quickly pin-pointing exactly what moment Judy was referring to, and it most certainly was _not_ due to the conversation. The quick brush of their shoulders and the warmth that remained from the contact definitively reminded her of that. “It’s a bold front, trust me. The less I say, the better it is for all of us.”

“So Judy, dear.” The flowery call caused Jen to snap her mouth shut, finally looking back up to the re-entering hostess. Two plates with gooey red pie slices were passed to them. Both guests looked to the smiling woman. “Are you going to show us pictures of your boys? We’ve already mentioned Aria and Trevor.”

Jen wanted to scoff. Mentioned? More like bragged about their two Honor Roll students and their fancy boarding schools for a good portion of the night; Jen checked out the moment the obscene cost of their middle-schools was brought up. She watched now as the redhead reached out her hand toward the confused brunette.

Expectantly, Maggie pressed, “You’ve got to have some pictures on your phone, right? Let’s see.”

Judy stared for a moment before chuckling, awkwardly. “Oh, sorry my phone’s..” Jen blinked, watching the girl verbally struggle while knowing the device was in her dress' hidden pockets. “..in the car. Um, Jen?” Her chocolate eyes landed on her, causing the blonde to blink. “Your photos are _way_ better anyway.”

Not super pleased at having to hand over her personal phone to be inspected by such a short-time acquaintance, Jen relented and swiped her device to the home screen. A picture of her and her two kids sat in a park on a gorgeous sunny day. Henry was still missing his front teeth and Charlie’s limbs were ganglier, evident of the rather old photo, but Jen adored it. Her blue eyes watched the red head carefully, praying for this woman’s sake that she wouldn’t dare say anything negative about her precious angels.

“They’re beautiful, and look just like you.” The pleasant compliment was jarring, but appreciated, so Jen actually found it in herself to thank the hostess. “ _You_ obviously had them, then?” she said, index finger pointing to the blonde.

Jen nodded. “Charlie’s almost 15 and Henry’s 9. They’re growing up real fast.”

Maggie settled herself into her chair. “15 huh?” She cocked her head. “Wait. How long have you two been together?”

Judy smiled softly with a lilt of her head, taking up her conversation role once more. “16 years.”

Only, she had spoken a split-second too late and too demurely. The blonde’s voice was naturally stronger and, when speaking simultaneously, easily overpowered Judy’s words.

“20 years.” Barley finishing the final sound, Jen paused, having recognized the immediate discrepancy after hearing the smaller woman’s voice beneath her own. _Oh dammit, not again._ It had been a response out of pure habit. Automatic. A slip into her old ways. It had been so long that she’d been together with Ted, the number was too easy. And that stupid question? It was one she’d been asked a million times.

Maggie, of course, frowned skeptically at Jen. “20? If my math’s right, then you two would have had to be together around when _we_ were still dating..”

Jen froze at the error before stiffly dropping her mouth into an ‘Oh.’ She looked at the wide-eyed brunette who was definitely not prepared to address this, finally settling on a slow “Well, _damn_ Judy..” Jen reached out and grasped around Judy's knee, smirking but trying to add as much adoration to her voice as possible to play this off, somehow finding the acting gradually becoming more natural. “I’m really surprised hearing this about you of all people, but I’m also happy I can still learn new information after all these years.”

Hands flew to Judy’s rapidly reddening cheeks, hiding her momentary loss for words and mortification. “I swear there was no overlap!” The flustered woman was unbelievably adorable and Jen felt her cheeks warm as her smile only grew.

“It’s okay. I trust you, Sweetie,” she said while squeezing her partner’s knee assuredly; the pet name one she’d used many times, but knew would be a good addition to their act. She turned back to Maggie, a pleased look having replaced the previous nervousness from faux-pas number 3. “She meant we got married 16 years ago, so I’m hoping at least _that_ part didn’t overlap. Mm, is there cherry in this?” She took a bite of her dessert, trying to keep her aura nonchalant while enjoying the surprise on the faces around her. 

“So how.. where exactly did you meet, then?” the now shocked looking woman questioned back, attention keen with interest following the latest subject, mostly remaining focused on Judy.

Noticing the ever scrutiny getting sent her friend’s way, the blonde smiled tightly, speaking up again. Apparently only one of them could talk at once if they were ever to keep these stories straight. And she was on a roll anyway. “We met staying at a weekend job retreat in Palm Springs.” She thumbed in Judy’s direction, brow cocked in mischievous confidence, enjoying the new surprise blooming on the hostess’ face. “One look at this hottie-patottie in a swimsuit at the pool and I was a goner.” She felt Judy’s attention spin to her, reddening face and silly smirk visible in her peripheral.

The lie was relatively easy as there was quite a lot of truth behind the story, which probably helped. Jen figured that it was why the description felt so honest. They _had_ been on a retreat in Palm Springs, Judy _had_ been in a swimsuit looking damn fine, and Jen had… Well, she had just been her good ol’ self. No smitten feelings for anyone, except maybe for that muscle head disaster fuck she luckily avoided.

There was a light raspy laugh, drawing Jen’s attention to the side. “Yeah. And at the Karaoke Bar, you should have seen Jen’s dance moves.” Blue eyes caught brown as the brunette looked up to face her; Judy’s giddy grin showing how she was still enjoying the change of conversation pace. Pools of umber darkened with a delicate twinkle to their corners as her raspy voice drawled, “Sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”

Jen knew that had her wine been anywhere near her mouth, Judy would probably be wearing the drink. For the umpteenthtime that evening, Jen’s heart bottomed-out and brain short-circuited due to something that her friend had spoken so easily yet held such intense connotations and why was she feeling so _hot_ right now. And, oh god, it’s not just her face, what the fuck?!

She swallowed hard, breaking her unusually long gaze with Judy, for once actually grateful for Maggie’s interruption. Jen was only happy to hear the absolutely boring oncoming story because she knew it would totally extinguish whatever fire had been ignited inside of her.

“Oh what a coincidence, we also met through work,” she said as her husband finally made his appearance at the table, glancing to the redhead. “Thomas was my manager at our insurance company. Remember my old internship?”

Judy gently nodded. “You were a secretary weren’t you?”

Maggie hummed, finger tapping her cheek. “Yeah. It was quite scandalous, really. He’s CEO now, by the way,” she added with a proud grin.

Said man eyed his wife before shrugging nonchalantly with a nod and digging into his pie. He didn’t seem eager to participate though. Jen still felt for the poor man. Whenever they made eye-contact, she made sure to send her best _‘I feel ya, Bro’_ look.

Blue eyes dragged over the wall clock as covertly as possible and she silently sighed. _Please, let this be only a little while longer.._

…  
  


The redhead laughed, voice a trill above the group as she went on about whatever; red cheeks indicating she was well into a full bottle of wine, probably the only thing that Jen envied. She grit her teeth while keeping her attention on her dwindling second piece of dessert, trying her hardest to not cut through the porcelain of her plate. God, she was getting so sick of this airhead’s laugh.. and voice.. and presence.

“So Judy,” that flowery voice started again, chin coming to rest on her wrist. “Now that you’re a family woman, does this mean you’re no longer living as a starving artist?”

The curly haired girl shook her head, awkward smile on her face. “No, I have an actual job.” Sure, it didn’t pay all that much even after her company had given her an incremental raise, but it didn’t matter, and they certainly did not need to know that.

“What does ‘actual’ mean?” questioned the redhead.

Judy shrugged her lips. “I mean, I get benefits and vacation days and such.”

Her Ex frowned. “That’s not necessarily indicative of something successful. Does it pay well too, or..?”

Thomas quickly offered a rare addition, clearing his throat and turning to Jen. “What do you do, Jen?” he asked, taking some of the heat off of the brunette before the conversation could start checking off the list of ‘Top things to Never Discuss in Social Circles.’

Looking up at her name, Jen glanced between the other parties before settling back into her chair. “I’m in real-estate.”

The man smiled, impressed. “That must be a very comfy job, especially in this area.”

With a casual shrug, the blonde mother grinned, not opposed to taking some credit for her (no choice in the matter) career path. “I guess. It certainly has good opportunities, at least when the market’s good. Just don’t get me started on 2008..” She gave a smirk and brow raise while the man across nodded with an equal shared acknowledgment.

“Ah, now _that_ makes sense how you can afford to live around here,” spoke the irritating woman once more, expression dull as she brought her glass of Cabernet to her lips. “I always knew Judy wasn’t destined to be bread winner quality with her skill set.” Jen’s head snapped up, ears prickling while that annoying voice brought such a horrid comment to the table. She heard the familiar throat clear come from Thomas, effectively catching Maggie’s attention yet again and coaxing her to come back to the moment, having glanced at the brunette across table whose shoulders were practically in her ears.

Those usually bright brown eyes, always sparkling with eagerness and kindness, dimmed while looking at her barely touched plate; smile lines diminishing as her lips were drawn tight. The deflating reaction was not missed by the whole table, but the full meaning behind each minute detail was only comprehended by one.

Now, Jen had tucked the tiniest thought away; _part_ of the comment wasn’t exactly completely false given Judy’s history with Steve, and even now could practically be seen as mooching off of her friend’s kindness. That is, of course, if no one knew them better. It was absolutely circumstantial.  Jen already knew of Judy’s insecurities over the situation, her attempts to give back as much as she could to the Harding family, even without ever being asked, and even with that, she still caught Judy in moments of self-doubt. That snobby woman had absolutely no right to stick her nose into their lives with such assumptions, stirring up these emotions.

Jen felt the steam of her steadily boiling blood start to compress on her nerves; temper beginning to encroach on her threshold of self-control.

Maggie shook her head, tone softening in the slightest at the nerve-wracked woman. “Oh, honey, I meant no offense, of course.”

Icy blue eyes narrowed.

She could deal with the haughtiness and ego boosting, self-indulging stories. She could stand the over-affectionate yet borderline inappropriate sexual behavior. She could even manage choking out pleasantries and placating agreements without vomiting at the whole ridiculousness of the situation. Unfortunately, she had her limits and there were some things Jen Harding could simply not ignore. She had finally come up to that hard line, one she’d been somehow desperately tiptoeing parallel to all evening just to maintain some semblance of poise for Judy’s sake. But now she was toppling over it in pure abandon thanks to this current situation.

And then, never, ever in her life had Jen experienced a more unexpectedly skin scraping and mind tearing moment than when she heard the God damned quick, automatic two word phrase escape the delicate lips of the woman beside her.

“It’s okay..”

Oh. She saw red.

No. No! No it fucking _wasn’t_ okay!

Jen snapped her face toward the unfazed redhead, blue eyes ablaze; icy hot blue flames licking at the air. If Maggie had started speaking again at any point, it was deaf to the heated blonde woman who found her voice fast, furious, and wasn’t about to silence it for social modesty any longer. “Hey, _hey_! Now, wait just a God damn minute,” she demanded sternly, easily commanding the attention of the small quartet. “How the _fuck_ can you say such a thing?”

Her glare was hard, fist having since curled tight as her arm leaned forward onto the wooden table, silverware clanking at the movement.

“Jen..” came the tight whisper of her friend, not appearing at all upset by the behavior, but filled with that ever loving concern for Jen’s well-being. A tanned hand had made its way to her lowered forearm, touch just barely ghosting across pale, hot skin. The meek disposition but adoring emotion emanating beside her was only acting as the kindling that fueled Jen’s fire.

“No. I’m not just going to sit here and let her keep belittling you like that,” she spoke, this time toward her seated partner-in-crime, before turning back again. “Judy works with the elderly, bringing fucking rays of sunshine to brighten so many lives every single day while doing something she _loves_. How many of us get to say that?” Memories of her own distant dreams of dance flittered through her mind; the feeling only solidifying the importance of Judy’s job in the arts. “Who really gives a damn about work when she’s got a heart of gold and the purest conscious of any one of us fucked up humans?” Her aggressive monologue was brought to a crescendo as she reached out, grabbing the hand of the woman next to her, compelled to squeeze in such an assuring way that she hadn’t felt in years. “It’s because of _those_ qualities, I’d never ask for anyone better to be in mine and my kids’ lives.”

The remaining three occupants sat stunned, mouths agape and eyes wide at the outburst; probably most stunned being the girl at her side.

Jen wiped her lips with a deceptively calm aura, the eye of a storm offering the briefest moments of peace from the devastating hurricane’s aggression, before scooting her chair back, standing up, and tossing her cloth napkin on the table. She took a step before spinning and pointing back at Maggie. “By the way, her paintings sell for fucking thousands. So shut the Hell up, Ms. 9 to 5 cubicle drone." She looked at Thomas. "Pleasure to meet you Thomas. Excellent choice of spirits and dessert." She finally turned and marched out of the dining room. “Come on Judy, we have to pick up the boys.”

Given a mind-numbing few seconds to catch up to the current moment, Judy hurriedly scooted back, bowing her head toward the hosts out of polite habit, excusing herself. “Sorry about that..” The voice was gentle with a slight jitter strictly coming from the intense upset that had transpired. As Jen overheard, there was an undertone of not so much apology rather than simple banality. _Thata girl._

As the curly haired artist approached her in the vestibule, disbelieving smirk in place, Judy quietly murmured in pure awe, “I fucking love you.” Even in her current ire, Jen still managed a proud smirk and mouthed a quick ‘I know’.

Grabbing their coats, Jen roughly threw hers on, enjoying the snap of fabric here and there, before helping Judy into hers. It was a whirlwind with her ushering them out the door impatiently.

As she was down the stoop steps, she heard the rushed clip of heels coming to the entrance. Jen turned around, looking up to the shocked woman standing in the doorway who had unfortunately got caught up in the whirlwind that was Jennifer Harding’s temper. “Ya know, Maggie,” she said, voice having lost a lot of its fiery rage, but confidence still soaring high. “I hope you realize that you really missed out on someone who’s a one-of-a-kind type of amazing.”

Without even looking, Jen easily slipped her arm around its new favorite place around the woman's lithe waist, with Judy equally returning the action; eagerly falling into the familiarizing touch like it was a welcome home party.

Jen turned her head toward the younger woman and leaned in to press a firm kiss against her cheek; a perfect solidifying end to her declaration and a triumphant climax to her acting tonight.  And what a splendid performance it had been. She deserved to leave on a high note. Yet, of course, as much of their duel-exchanges had done all evening, perhaps she should have known that her exit would not go quite as planned.

She wasn’t even aware until a good second into her movement that, given years of differentiating experiences, she was _definitely_ not kissing Judy’s cheek. No. These were definitely lips. Soft, reciprocating lips. Sweet like cherry lips. _Judy’s_ lips.

Jen felt her knees tremble worse than a rolling aftershock of the recent 7.5 earthquake, burning blood simultaneously washing cold from pouring adrenaline while leaving an uncomfortable shock traveling through veins and sparking like lightening in her lower belly. Her ocean eyes snapped open the same moment her heart jolted with realization, and, not a second later, the two had parted. She stared, wide-eyed, at the equally stunned eyes opening in front of her. Thankfully neither of them seemed to have anticipated that act, both glad to not to be left alone in this mortifying situation.

She tore her eyes from the pleasing visual before her; forcibly attempting to ignore how round cheeks became dusted by rich rose, how glittering mahogany orbs lit up brighter than a clear night’s stars, and how those delicate lips were now stained with her own lipstick shade. Jen gave a lasting glance at the woman standing solo in the doorway, backlight shadowing whatever expression their surprise performance may have created, but she could not care in the least. Spinning the semi dazed woman in her arms, she marched them stead-fast toward the car.

…  
  


The drone of the car’s engine as it traveled down the road was almost deafening while the heavy silence was stifling to an almost painful degree. At some point, a quiet voice piped up in the passenger seat; uncertainty was evident.

“Well, we did it,” she chose to begin with, hint of uplift to her voice as if unsure whether to make it a definitive statement or question. But the blonde driver nodded.

“That we did.” She pursed her lips. “A damn good job too I think.” That brought small smiles to both of their lips, each glancing at the other through the corner of their eyes one time before silence started to descend over them once more.

Knowing that the entire situation was unwanted, and that Jen was an absolute saint of a woman to come to her aid tonight, Judy scrunched her nose, trying to find words to continue the dialogue. “Um.. th-thanks, again.” The smaller woman played with her fingers, arms pressed tensely toward her lap while she continued to sneak not-so-covert glances toward the stiff body in the driver’s seat. “You know, for doing all of this..”

Jen just replied as stoically as she could, trying to tamper the slight waver in her tone. “It’s what friends are for and shit, yeah?” Her fingers drummed and stretched along the leather of the wheel, nerves showing their true colors beneath her hard exterior, even if only subtly.

Her mind kept moving, faster than she could keep up with at times, sometimes coming to a place of acceptance but suddenly reeling again at her not so distant memories. The sensation still burning on her lips, the lingering hints of cherry pie flavor still so sweet as she distractedly tasted them. The way her heart tightened and skipped a beat every time the moment came to mind, and yet would quickly relax into comfortable rhythm of adoration. The bashful gaze seared into her brain was something she never wanted to forget, and also something she never _ever_ wanted anyone other than her to witness. That was.. This all means.. No.. Does it…? Agh, fuck.

A few more minutes passed, long and heavy, and Jen was just starting to sort out her weird influx of interpretations, the broken dam of emotions crumbling causing a flood of disgustingly mixed feelings needing to be dealt with, when she heard that little voice speak up once more.

“Hey, did you mean what you said?” When Jen looked over, she could see the girl’s gaze was completely glued outside the window this time.

The evident apprehension attached to the question made her heart sigh sadly, previous warm beats and blissful (yet agonizingly confusing) thoughts being set aside to address the current moment.

She hated that Judy lacked the confidence in her wonderful self which Jen so obviously saw in her. No, Jen understood why the artist was so easily put-down. It was the fault of her years upon years of toxic relationships, both familial and romantic. Just the thought of such things could cause a flame to ignite in her chest; but when she actually _watched_ it happen before her very eyes, Jen learned that her fire became an all-out volcanic maelstrom. 

Letting a caring smile come to her lips, she glanced to the petite frame at her side. “One hundred percent.” She waited, hoping that Judy would stop looking so forlorn, but it seemed to not do much, if anything, to alleviate the tension. Before long, they pulled down a familiar street, but Jen abruptly parked along the curb, just before coming into view of the Laguna Beach mansion belonging to the monster-in-law.

Before Judy could question it, Jen turned to her, saying her name firmly; the brunette’s face fully turning to attention.

“Look, I really meant it... I _mean_ it. Everything.” The blonde woman reached out, taking Judy’s hand as she desperately searched for words that could hold even a small flame to absolutely anything she was feeling; something to adequately assuage any and all of Judy’s worries and misconceptions. “Maggie may have somehow found a handsome, well-off guy who’s absurdly normal, but you’re truly one-of-a-kind.” Those previously flat lips were getting tugged, trying to hold back a tearful smile at Jen’s words. It only made the blonde feel more at ease and self-confident in her endeavor. “You’re literally my favorite ball of sunshine. I’d pick you any day.”

Jen absolutely basked beneath the innocent teary chuckle and radiant smile coming from her best friend in response.

Judy eventually returned the grasp with a squeeze, shoulders easing and head tilting to the side. “Thank you.” Her words were thick, nose turning pink as she blinked back the wetness in her eyes. “You really are too good to be true, Jen.” She let out a disbelieving and somewhat self-depreciating sigh, voice hitching as she tried to catch her breath despite managing a smile. “God, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

Jen paused, gaze lingering on the younger woman for a moment longer than necessary, before she shrugged in an easygoing manner. “You _are_ pretty darn lucky. I wouldn’t have done this for just anybody you know.”

Judy smiled playfully, light sarcasm in her voice which she’d undoubtedly picked up from Jen herself. “Oh no? And here I thought you went around kissing all of your friends.”

“Nah. Not since college.”

The joke initially hit its mark, bringing a brief chuckle to both women. But moments after the sensitive subject matter was breached, the waves of uneasiness rolled through, like an unwanted cold-front ruining a hot summer day; their conjoined hands suddenly becoming clammy, yet neither wanting to increase the awkwardness by pulling away first. After another long moment of silence and a strange buildup of sweaty condensation within their unrelenting grasps, Jen’s eyes slid closed as she pressed her fingers to her temple, trying to prepare some form of explanation for the surprise kiss.

“It was an accident, I swear-“

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know-“

The duo stopped after simultaneously blurting out the apologies and turning to stare at each other before devolving into a fit of laughter. A full hearty laugh this time. They both leaned back, grabbing their aching sides as the burdensome weight of the night finally slipped from their shoulders beneath the acknowledgment.

“Wow. What a crazy night,” Judy said shaking her head with a wide smile.

The older woman mimicked the act. “Seriously. Thank God it’s over.”

As the words floated around them, Jen found herself drumming her fingers in her lap, the other moving to support her head near the car window. She made no attempt at pulling away from the curb either. She didn’t even know what was causing her to wait. It was merely a gut feeling. _Maybe it’s because you don’t want it to be over  just yet?_   She cursed her subconscious’ monologue, no matter how accurate it was. But really, what else was she expecting?

She heard the other girl shift and let out a breath. Okay. Now Judy was going to ask her what the Hell was bothering her or what was holding up their return home at this late hour.

“Hey. Um. Is it.. Would it be weird to..” Jen felt her hand inadvertently tense against her thigh as she gave the subtlest of side glances, hearing the meek and uncertainty yet cautiously hopeful question. A poorly expressed question that she was pretty sure she already knew, and not one she’d been prepared for. “Would.. would you want.. To maybe.. again..?”  The voice trailed off, ready to turn-tail from even speaking up in the first place. Brown eyes were darting every which way around the car; from the gear selector, to the rearview, to the side-view, over the dash board. Looking anywhere but Jen’s face.

But the moment she heard Jen eventually answer with calm “I don’t see why not,” Judy whipped her head back toward the driver, eyes wide. It brought a soft smile to the blonde’s face watching the astonished glee grow over the small face.

So _this_ was what she had been waiting for. Jen decided to give kudos to her gut instinct this time. Light colored eyes danced across the familiar face in front of her, street lights casting an orange glow over Judy’s features and causing Jen’s stomach to flip. Summoning her courage to help guide her through the conscious moment, she began to lean forward over the center console, powered by an internal drive she hadn't even been aware of.

“Wait, just to be clear..” Jen blinked wide-eyed at the sudden words, immediately freezing her in her motions. Be clear about what? The artist looked down and then back up with a curiously pensive look; her tan hands were forced to her lap tightly. “We _are_ talking about the same thing right?”

The blonde wanted to groan, unable to help the roll of her eyes, although not really feeling any true exasperation. How could anybody be irritated while this perfect woman looked so unbelievably precious right now? She shook her head lightly, lips curling up. “Kissing, Judy. We’re talking about kissing.” She happily watched the elated smile bloom over the brunette’s face, so brilliant and enviable of the glowing heavens above. Jen wasted no time, hand reaching out to cup round cheeks and bringing them close not an instant later.

Jen felt the small woman’s anticipating breath ghost over her lips briefly before they collided, both bodies drawn by the red string of fate encircling them. Delicate fingers found their way threading into flowing blonde hair, entwined softly, while Jen’s own found a comfortable residence on the brunette’s tapered waist. She tasted the other woman, the sweetness a flavor Jen could probably consume every day and never be sated.  And with every passing moment, she inhaled each exquisite breath bestowed to her.

When they pulled apart, breaths ragged and hearts stuttering, Jen smirked with a wicked thought; forehead leaning against the smaller woman’s as both looked at each other through half-lidded eyes. “You know, I could text Lorna and say we’ll pick up the boys in the morning..”

Judy frowned, brows creasing as chocolate eyes squinted with bewilderment. “Huh?” Her nose scrunched up in its ever adorable way. “Why? Wouldn’t it be a waste of gas to go all the way back to-“

“-Judy.” Jen exhaled sharply, absolutely deadpanned; a glower in place as she met the younger woman’s gaze. Okay, there was a tiny bit more exasperation this time around. Seriously though? How did she not get this overt come-on? Jen was sure she wasn’t _that_ out of practice. She lifted a blonde brow, trying to convey her point obvious enough so even this wholesome woman could get it. Thankfully, the slowly widening brown orbs and breathy intake were evidence for her successful communication.

The brunette giggled, mischievous smile growing over pink lips; her pearly whites glimmering in the dimly lit car as she bit down on her lip. “ _Oh._ Well, when you put it that way..”

The rest of the words were lost as the two found themselves drawn into each other once more.

It may have gone unsaid for now, the mingling of old and new feelings and revelations; once again Jen knew she was questioning what exactly they were. It may be something indescribable, maybe even a bit indiscernible. For now, at least, and may be for a while down the way, if ever anything but. However, in the heat of this moment, the here and now, she could happily say that it did not matter. This was enough.

This was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got to posting a Dead to Me fic! This has always been my fav Trope, I will literally write and read Fake Relationship fics all day long for. The drama, the humor, the goddamn inevitable awkward turtles!  
> Thanks for reading, I'll try to get part 2 up as soon as I finish up moving this week.  
> Rating is for Jen's sailor mouth :)


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